


In The End (The Sun Came Up)

by BA1007



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, SteveTony, Stony - Freeform, Superfamily, Superhusbands, because don't you love putting your otp thu hell?, or is that just me?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-16
Updated: 2016-11-16
Packaged: 2018-08-31 08:51:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8572084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BA1007/pseuds/BA1007
Summary: Steve was everywhere in this house. Little parts of him were in the living and in kitchen and on the walls. The house itself had that all too familiar scent that Tony had fallen in love with: Steve’s natural scent. Tony had built this house, but it was Steve’s.





	

**Author's Note:**

> So I decided to write this loosely based off a really intimate scene from the show Greys Anatomy. You guys enjoy! Also, please forgive me for the potential typos and grammatical errors you might notice. The fic wasn't edited.

Fall had come early this year, though it was New York and it always came earlier than expected. Tony stared through the rearview mirrors at the brown and orange leaves the flew up and then slowly danced down, as Natasha drove the car through them. While this road was all too familiar, it now felt different. The sunglasses he had on had made everything a shade darker, but Tony was sure something was different. Tony wasn’t sure if it was because it had been so long since he was here, or because t had been spring of last year since he drove this road. 

A year and a half had passed since Tony was in New York. Five hundred and forty eight days had past since the last time Tony was in New York, or had any contact with Shield, or the rest of The Avengers. As much as he would tease them and would make smart ass remarks, they were his friends, his family. Yet, Tony needed this time apart. He needed to be alone with his son. Tony needed to get away from the place that had brought him so much heartbreak. Time needed to stop for a second, and allow Tony the chance to breath. Everyone would understand that, and they did. No one asked questions. They allowed Tony take young Peter with him, and allow him the chance to mourn in anyway he could. And if that meant leaving, then so be it.

They were back now. It wasn’t by Tony’s choice, but they were. If it was up to Tony, the man would have stayed as far away as he could from New York as could. He chose to come back for Peter. The five year old needed a chance at a normal life, and Tony wasn’t going to deny him that. Tony had promised himself, and Steve that Peter would have as much of a normal life as he could. Sure it was going to be an uphill battle from the start. Both Steve and Tony were very much public figures, and not only that, they were freaking superheroes. Steve and Tony knew Peter would have a hard time his whole life. And yet, Tony refused to be like Howard and have force Peter to go through the ‘snobby rich boy hell’. He loved his son too much to do otherwise, and Tony knew Steve did as well. 

They turned the corner, and there it was, the beautiful house Tony had built for Steve and their family. It was a modern two story victorian house. The two had agreed that they needed to a place to raise Peter. The tower wasn’t the best place. There wasn’t enough room or safety measures there for a child, and the Avengers base was even worse. So Tony decided he’d build a house for them, not too far away, but enough so that Peter would have a place to call home. Tony called it their “dream house”. While it wasn’t as big as Tony wanted it to be it was perfect because it’s exactly what Steve wanted. Tony wanted a huge mansion with at least twelve rooms and seven bathrooms. That was his plan, but Steve had his own idea of a perfect house. Steve wanted something intimate, and a place where people could feel welcomed and comfortable, not overwhelmed, or get lost in. He only wanted enough for the three of them, and an extra room or two for guests. While it wasn’t Tony’s idea, their house was perfect now, because it’s what Steve always wanted.

Tony caught his breath as Nat parked the car. There was a part of him that didn’t want to get out of the car, much less go inside the house. He stared at the front door and wondered about everything that was behind it. In the case of fight or flight, Tony would always fight. He’d fought his whole life, for his life, for the people he loved. Hell, Tony even fought to protect the same world that had hated him before. Tony was a fighter. It wasn’t until now that all Tony could think of doing was run. Almost everything was telling the genius to leave, and go back to the small seaside house, Tony had lived in for the last year and a half. 

Just as much as Tony felt that, he also remembered why he was here in the first place: Peter. He was here for Peter, not for himself. Tony took a deep breath as his hand moved to unbuckle himself and reached for the car's door handle. And when Nat saw Tony take too long of a second to do so she gently placed her palm on Tony’s shoulder and did her best to comfort him. “You’re gonna be alright, big guy,” she affirmed him. 

Tony quickly looked over at the redhead, and gave Natasha that award winning smile he was so good at before answering. “Me? Of course. I always am.” 

Nat didn’t need to see Tony’s eyes to know how forced out that lie had come out of Tony’s lips. Reading people was a key ability every assassin had to have. Yet, Natasha didn’t need that to know how many Tony was faking that smile and self-confidence. She wouldn’t say anything about it, just smile and agree. One of the best things about their friendship was their ability to understand each other without the use of words. This was a perfect example about that. Natasha knew how Tony really felt, despite Tony’s fake smiles and words, and their was nothing to say about that, not right now at least. 

Just as Tony had gotten out of the car, the door of the perfect house flew open. Out stepped good old uncle Bucky, with the biggest grin and holding out his hands to in excitement. Tony couldn’t help, but roll his eyes and the sight. Bucky was someone Tony wouldn't be able to get over, no matter how much time past. “Hey oldtimer!” Tony said, with the slightest condescending tone, and a smile.

Bucky had learned for the beginning that Tony would never not tease him about his age, and he’d learned to either ignore it or respond with another comment. “I’m gonna pretend you didn’t say that,” he responded. Bucky walked to their car and moved towards the back seat door. “Where the hell is my little spider at, huh?” he said, smiling and making eye contact with the toddler in the car seat. 

Peter had just woken up from a nap, when he saw Bucky walking up to him. His eyes widened when he saw his favorite uncle before him. “Uncle Bucky!” he shouted with glee. Peter did his best to unbuckle himself, but his little hands weren’t strong enough just yet. 

“Where have you been, big guy?” Bucky asked, as he moved to unbuckle Peter. The second he was free, Peter jumped into the man's arms and hugge his neck like it was a new toy. Bucky picked him up into his arms. “Your dad kept you away from me, didn’t he?” he said. Before Peter could answer, Bucky immediately lifted Peter’s shirt and stuffed his face onto the little boys stomach to make fart noises, something Peter absolutely loved. The young boy then immediately broke into an laughter, as Bucky’s facial hair began to tickle Peter. The genuine laughter was too good not to smile at, that Tony actually allowed himself a real smile, not the fake ones that he would give 

“Stop it it tickles!” he said, through his laughter. After a few seconds, the fart noises and tickling stopped, and Bucky placed Peter down. “We were living in a super cool house, Uncle Bucky! It was next to the ocean and in the morning I could see the white birds flying in a V letter and it was awesome! You have to come with daddy and I when we go back!”

It was then that the three adults couldn’t help but look at each other. The small awkward silence came right after. There was a moment in which Tony remembered he wasn’t going back. There was no going back to the solitude of their small oceanside house, where Tony could be by himself with his own thoughts and Peter could play in the sand, and build sand castles. This was their reality now. It hadn’t even started, and Tony was close to freaking out again. It took Bucky to say something so that the silence could be filled.

“That’s great, kid! Maybe next time you can show me around the beach? How does that sound? Does that sound good?” Bucky replied. Peter smiled, and nodded. 

Natasha then walked from the other side of the car, next to Bucky. “For now, Uncle Bucky needs to help bring the stuff from the car into the house.” The redhead then moved next to Bucky and gave him a kiss on the lips. “Hope you were able to pour milk into your cereal without me,” she whispered.

Bucky smiled. “I had a little trouble, but I managed,” he replied sarcastically. 

It wasn’t until Peter went up to Tony and said. “C’mon daddy! We have to help Uncle Bucky!” That Tony came back to reality for a few moments.

Tony looked down at Peter with a smile. “I’m pretty sure Uncle Bucky can do it himself. He doesn’t have a super strong metal arm for no reason,” he said smiling at his son.   
“Stop being an ass and come help. Most of this is your stuff anyway.” Nat said. Peter even shot the meanest look a five year old could shoot. 

Tony got a hold of some of the luggage, and then started towards the door. His legs were moving faster that he had time to process it.  He was scared. He was scared he’d see Steve there, waiting for him. He was afraid that he’d try to deal with things, but wouldn’t be strong enough to do so. Maybe it was his body telling him he needed to deal with this now, instead of later. He was on the foot of the door now, only a step before going in. This was it. The moment, Tony had been dreading. He closed his eyes, and took the first step into the life he’d left behind, the life he chose to come back to, not for himself, but for Peter. 

For the most part, everything was where Tony had remember leaving it. As he walked around the house, all the furniture was in the exact same position, the pictures of great memories were still mounted on walls or standing upright on countertops. From the corner of his eye, Tony could see the many family pictures the three of them had taken in the past. It was nearly impossible to resist looking at them, but Tony somehow managed. He couldn’t stare at them in fear of completely breaking down. He’d have to talk to Nat about taking them down, without letting Peter know. The young boys play corner was still there with a pile of Peter's favorite old toys, neatly piled on top of eachother, Steve’s favorite red, white, and blue blanket was still laying over the the chair that unofficially belonged to Steve, when they sat in the living room. Steve would use the blanket to cover Peter when he’d fallen asleep on the couch, and would carry the young boy off to bed, with it. It didn’t appear to be touched. Tony then wondered if anyone used it at all since he was gone. Bucky maybe? That was a possibility, the guy had a habit of falling asleep on their couch.

It took a few short seconds for Tony to realize Natasha walked up next to him. “We kept up with this place for you. Well I did anyways, Bucky on the other hand, he made himself as much at home as I’d let him. We stayed in the guest room. Hope you didn’t mind.” she said, placing some of the luggage on the floor. Tony had appreciated that more than his ego would let him. He’d never asked Nat to take care of the house, while he was gone, but he was so thankful for it. The women knew he’d need it. Tony would have to add that to the many list of things he would have to find a way to repay back.

“That’s totally fine. You didn’t do too bad of a job. Thanks,” he replied, he said as he forced his eyes off of the blanket. She gave Tony a side smile in response, before walking towards the kitchen. 

Natasha opened the refrigerator door and began taking stuff out to make dinner. She turned around towards Tony before continuing, and said, “So are you gonna just stand there or come over here and help me make dinner?”

Bucky overheard, and as he picked up Peter into his arms, and then crashed into the large couch as he carried him, he interrupted. “Dinner would be great! Both Pete and I are hungry, aren’t we, buddy?” The little boy gleefully laughed as he nodded his head and cuddled into his his favorite uncle.

A content smile grew on Tony’s lips as he stepped into the kitchen. “Alright, but you two are cleaning up afterwards,” he said, towards Bucky and Peter.

 

____________________

  
  


After dinner, and the four of them decided to wait until the morning to clean, something Bucky was happy about. They decided to watch a movie in the living. It didn’t take long before Peter dozed off to sleep, and Bucky shortly after. If it wasn’t for the fact that it was Empire Strikes Back, Tony would have turned it off.

For a few short seconds, it seemed as everything was back to normal. Peter’s head was resting on Tony’s lap, Bucky sat asleep as well, leaning next to Nat. They seemed like a family again.

Reality set it when Tony turned his head and saw the empty chair with the red, white, and blue, blanket draped over it. Steve’s chair. It was a force of habit to look over and see Steve completely amazed by a movie they were watching (war movies were always his favorite, even though he always said, they never described it quite right). Tony still expected Steve to be there, and he wasn’t. The half smile that Tony had, slowly diminished. That, on top of many other things, was something that he’d have to get used to.

When the movie was finally over, Tony reached for the remote and turned off the tv. He looked at Nat who had Bucky’s head on her lap. “Want to trade? I’ll take Pete upstairs, if you take Bucky?”

Tony almost chuckled at the idea of carrying the metal armed soldier. “As tempting as that offer sounds, I’m gonna pass.” Tony then, slowly sat up, as he carried Peters head, so that he wouldn’t wake up. The man then proceeded to lift his son onto his arm and carry him upstairs. “Night,” he whispered at Nat.

Tony made his way to the bottom of the stairs. As he started to the top, he remembered how the room he and Steve used to share was right across from Peters. How could he forget? Tony had specifically designed it so that they’d be able to see Peter if both their rooms were open. Steve always used to leave the doors open as a safety precaution. He didn’t want to the possibility of something happening to Peter, and them not being able to here. Tony remembered how much it used to annoy him that Steve would do that, despite the good reasoning behind it. Since then, Tony couldn’t ever close the door. He called it a force of habit, but in reality, it was something Steve had left behind with him. He never closed their bedroom doors when they lived in their beachside house, and he wasn’t going to do it now.

He wondered if anyone had stepped foot in the rooms. Maybe Natasha or Bucky had gone in at some point? Maybe it was left untouched? Apart of Tony hoped it was. He didn’t want anyone going into a place that was so intimate and personal for him and Peter. When he made it to the top he walked to the end of the hall where the two rooms waited. Of course, the doors were open. Tony hoped they would be. He decided to have Peter sleep in his old room. Maybe the toddler would have liked to wake up to his old toys, and poster. From the looks of it, it seemed like everything was as Peter had left it, the morning they decided to leave. There were toys everywhere and his twin bed was slightly unmade. He was glad no one had been up here. The man slowly placed his son on the bed, and covered him with a blanket. Before he left, Tony placed a gentle kiss on Peter forehead, and turned on Peter’s old nightlight.

The hardest part was still yet to come.

Tony thought about not going into his old room, and sleeping in the upstairs living room. It would be easier. It would be the one easy thing of all the heart aching things he’d done all day. Despite all of that, he knew it needed to be done. Tony had run away from all of this for a year. While it seemed like he’d need more time, that wasn’t the problem. Tony wanted and needed more time with Steve, but it was too late for that. There was no getting more time with Steve. 

It took everything in him to turn on the bedroom light.

The first thing he laid eye’s on was his unmade bed. The covers had slightly fallen to one side, just as they always had after Tony would push them away with his legs. His side of the bed was always a bit more messier, while Steve always only slept with one pillow and almost never made a mess. He remembered how he and Steve had agreed to make their bed when they both made it back home that day.  That was the only thing he needed. While they slept, Tony would eventually turn and use Steve’s arm as his own pillow as he cuddled into the man. The brunette sighed at the thought.

Steve’s used gym clothes, and shoes were on the beds end bench. Steve had gone on a jog the morning of that last day. It was as if time had stopped in this room, waiting for the two of them to return so that it could continue with their seemingly perfect life, waiting for them to make the bed, before they slept in it (because Steve hated sleeping in an unmade bed), waiting for Tony to point out Steve’s dirty clothes and how he’d forgotten them. Time froze in this room, and it had finally continued, but with a completely different way: without Steve.

Something was clearly missing and that was Steve, saying everything was gonna be okay. That optimistic comfort that Tony hated, was the thing he needed right now. Tony felt heavy all of a sudden, with a knot in his throat. He took his jacket off, letting it fall to the floor, hoping that would help at all, but it didn’t. He sat down on the bench as he tried taking his shoes off, but for whatever reason, he was having trouble doing so. His shoelace quickly bundled, and that infuriated Tony. He clawed them off, and threw them across the room in anger. 

He needed to calm down. The last thing he wanted was for Peter to wake. He wouldn’t know what kind of excuse he’d make for the anger, and the tears that were waiting to bed shed. Elbows on his knees, Tony slowly placed his face into his palm as the tears fell. Tony had tried so hard not feel like this again. He’d left across the country because he didn’t want to feel like this. How was he supposed to deal with it now? Everything in this house seemed to remind the man of Steve. Of course it did. Steve was everywhere in this house. Little parts of him were in the living and in kitchen and on the walls. The house itself had that all too familiar scent that Tony had fallen in love with: Steve’s natural scent. Tony had built this house, but it was Steve’s. The man he loved was gone, but in a way, it was as if he’d never left. How was he supposed to be okay with any of this.

“H-he’s g-gone,” Tony finally said it. “.... He’s gone,” The second wasn’t any easier. “St-Steve’s-” Tony mustered up the strength to finally say the thing he’d been deading. “Steve’s dead,” he whispered.

A wave of tears raced down Tony’s cheeks, as he sat on the bench. Suddenly the same weakness he felt when he got the knock on the door, saying something had happened to Steve, was back. His breath was short, and it took him to tries, to get one decent deep breath. His limbs felt numb, and he wondered how he was able to make it onto the bed. Tony laid upright on his side of the bed as his tears fell down his temple. What he needed was to be wrapped in Steve’s arms, and Steve’s touch. Tony needed Steve’s gentle words to comfort him, and his tender smile that would make everything okay, when it wasn’t. 

Instead, Tony was in a bed that was too big for one person, with tears stains beginning to dry. Tony never pictured this ever happening. If he was being completely honest, Tony always pictured himself dying way before Steve, and leaving Peter with him. At least that way Peter was sure to be raised correctly. Tony never planned this. And that was the worst of it all, Tony had no idea what to do. He had no plan for any of this. What was he supposed to do? How was he supposed to move on without his husband, and the father of his child? Was there even a way to? He couldn’t do that. Everything in him wanted to be frozen in time, like the room was. That wasn’t a possibility anymore. 

Tony stared at the ceiling fan for what seemed to be hours. He layed in his bed motionless with arms crossed, and tear stains long since dried. Tony replayed that entire day in his head. He tried remembering all the details of that day, even the insignificant details. If there was some way to go back to that day, just to see his face, he would. He never wanted to forget how Steve looked that day. Tony wanted to remember Steve’s face for the rest of his life. He’d never forget the way Steve would small wrinkles under his eyes when he’d smile, and the way his eyebrows would arch up when he was surprised. The best was how those ocean blue eyes used to just stare at Tony and make him feel like home, just before he walked out of the front door. 

His mind began to wonder off into their past, and to all the most intimate memories they shared in the past. The first time Tony had told Steve he loved him out of nowhere, in the shop, the time they spent the whole day doing nothing but lay in bed with each other. He loved that day, and how that happy the two of them were. The time Steve got down on one knee, despite literally everything going wrong that day with SHIELD and the Avengers. The time they were finally able to take their adopted newborn home, after they were sure the judge wasn’t going to let them adopt him. He was afraid to do absolutely anything in fear that he’d forget.

The last thing Tony expected to feel now was content. He’d stopped crying without realizing it. Dare he say he felt the least bit okay, after recalling those memories. Tony took a deep breath in as he turn to his side and brought Steve’s pillow close to him. He wrapped the pillow in between his arms. His husbands scent was still there. It took some time, but he finally caught himself dozing off. As much as he tried fighting it, his eye finally closed. Before he gave in, Tony repeated it one more time “Steve is dead.”

 

____________________

 

The sun had started peaking through the blinds, making itself visible. Tony slowly opened his eyes to see that the morning had arrived. He closed his eye, and felt a small head resting on his bicep. He didn’t have to open his eyes once more to know that it was Peter. He’d somehow managed to get out of his bed, and into Tony’s arms. He never minded that. When the lived in their beach home, Peter always slept with Tony, so it was only right for them to continue. 

As sleep was finally leaving Tony’s body, he felt something strange. He felt comfort, as though Steve was there. He could have sworn, Steve was there. It was something so unusual that he hadn’t felt for over a year Tony had never thought he’d feel that again, and he almost forgot how it feels to be in Steve’s comfort. It was unexpected, and a little strange at the beginning, but now, it was everything Tony needed. That’s when he realized the one thing he’d take with him, for the rest of his life:   
Steve would always be with him, wherever he went, in the tower, at the base, wherever mission Iron Man has to go to. He’d definitely be in the house, Tony was sure of that. He would also always be with Peter, and knowing that was more than Tony could express. The thing was that while Steve was gone, his kindness, and lovingness, and his want to comfort and be their for the people he loves would always be here. And While Tony could choose feel terrible about it, like he had been for the past year and had, Tony chose to focus on the good memories, and the comfort they’d gave him. It would always hurt to think of Steve, but Tony knew it would also help. 

Tony had to believe there was a way to start again, to start fresh. There had to be a way for Tony to leave all of his ghosts behind. It was a choice. It was the hardest thing he ever had to do, but it was a decision Tony was making, laying in bed with Peter in his arms, and an empty side where his dead husband should be. This was his life now, it was never how he imagined it to be, but it was it. He could either whither way, and have amount to nothing else, and have Peter grow up exactly as he had grown up, or find the strength in Steve’s comfort to continue to get out of the bed every morning. It would be hard, trying to go a day without the man he loved. Any notion of Tony trying to tell himself it wouldn’t, would be lying. It would probably be the hardest thing he’d ever do. But, he was going to do it, for Peter and for himself. This was a choice Tony was making, and while it might have seemed impossible, Tony could do it. All he had to do was begin.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed it, as much as I loved writing it! I'd love to here your opinions! I'm considering to make a prequel of sorts, that may answer all the questions you were left with!


End file.
